Review of Almost Amish

I recently finished reading an excellent new book called Almost Amish: One woman's quest for a slower, simpler, more sustainable life, by Nancy Sleeth.  Years ago, Ben and I read another book by the author's husband, Dr. Matthew Sleeth, and it stirred something in us that ended up reshaping the way we live our lives.  We decided to work towards living a simpler, more intentional, and more responsible life, hopefully being better stewards of the things God has entrusted to us.  Keeping the same principles as her husband's, Nancy Sleeth's Almost Amish focuses in on living simply and intentionally, using the Amish as examples.

Now, I had always thought that the Amish were somehow afraid of modern society and technology, and had thus hidden themselves away from the rest of us.  But as I read this book, I realized their lifestyle isn't based on fear or the belief that technology is inherently bad.  They are actually very intentional, seeking to live their lives completely based on Scripture.  And if something isn't actually beneficial, they don't do it.  That doesn't mean that if we also want to center our lives around the Word that we have to say goodbye to all technology and join an Amish community.  But maybe we do need to take a step back and carefully consider each detail and aspect of our lives, and whether they follow the teachings of the Bible.  Whether they truly add to our lives, or take away from it.   It's easy to get caught up in the trends and "progress" of our culture, but often, the direction our culture is going is not the best way.

And who, more than any other group in twenty-first-century America is countercultural...? Has intact families? Healthy communities?  Gardens, home-cooked meals, and uncluttered homes?  Restrained use of technology, strong local economies, and almost nonexistent debt?  Most of all, what group has kept simplicity, service, and faith at the center of all they say and do?  The Amish!  All of which led to my epiphany: few of us can become Amish, but all of us can become almost Amish.

Throughout the book, Sleeth discusses and develops several Amish principles and how we can apply them to our lives:

1. Homes are simple, uncluttered, and clean; the outside reflects the inside.
2. Technology serves as a tool, and does not rule as a master.
3. Saving more and spending less bring financial peace.
4. Time spent in God's creation reveals the face of God.
5. Small and local leads to saner lives.
6. Service to others reduces loneliness and isolation.
7. The only true security comes from God.
8. Knowing neighbors and supporting local businesses build community.
9. Family ties are lifelong; they change but never cease.
10. Faith life and way of life are inseparable.

The Scripture-based life that Sleeth describes sounds so full, enjoyable, and meaningful.  Not rushed and stressful, like so many of us live our lives today.  It takes a lot of conscious decision-making to get your life this way, but I believe it is worth it.

While reading this book, I learned a lot and felt so motivated to make changes.  Here are a few of the things that especially stood out to me:

• "Our homes reflect our values.  They reflect who we are inside and what we hold most precious.  If our houses are cluttered, our hearts are too.  Possessions should work for us; we should not work for them."  Decluttering our home takes so. much. effort.  And not buying and bringing home things that we don't need takes even more thought and discipline!  But it's so worth it to not have as much to take care of, worry about, organize, and clean up.  I'm working to organize and simplify my day-to-day life so that I spend more time on the things I care about and less on the things I don't care so much about.
• "What technology offers us in terms of convenience and connectivity will always come at a cost, and the Amish carefully count that cost."  Ben and I have been regularly practicing a Sabbath for several months now, and one of the things we do on our Sabbath is fast from electronics.  No computers, no TV, etc.  While it was a little intimidating at first, I can't tell you what an incredible blessing it has been to our family!  In addition to our weekly break from technology, we are watching very little television throughout the week (only the stuff we really care to watch), and we are feeling challenged to reconsider our time spent on the computers and whether we really should continue to "upgrade" our other electronics, such as our phones.  These things can feel backwards, and may seem like they're not much fun, but really there's a lot more fun to be had away from all the screens.
• "...live less in the man-made world and more in the God-made world."  We want to spend more time outdoors, enjoying God's creation, by working in the garden, planning picnics, and just playing outside.
• "'Less is more' is a basic principle of Amish simplicity. The Amish have not bought into the modern myth that bigger is better and faster is first... Contentment and simplicity are two sides of the same coin.  The Amish do not complicate their lives unnecessarily in the insatiable quest for more."  Simplicity, gratitude, and contentment are so closely related.  As I've said before, these are major themes in our lives right now.

I could go on and on about this book.  It's very much about getting back to basics, slowing down, remembering what's important and what's good for us.  Sleeth's writing style is down-to-earth, easy to read, and very practical.  Definitely a book worth reading!

Name change

Seeing as how I am usually the only one posting on this blog, and our family now includes more than just "Ben and Hailey" as the blog title suggests, I decided it was time for a name change.  And I decided to go with "gratefulness".  Aside from the obvious pun, I chose this title because gratefulness has been a theme in my (our) life for several years now.  I think the Lord really brought it up in our hearts in 2007 when we read a book about responsibility, simplicity, and stewardship in the Christian life.  Realizing how much we had to be grateful for (as in physical possessions, relationships, and other blessings in our lives), yet how much we deep-down continued feeling discontent, continually seeking out more and more, we started to understand that the more we stop and focus on thanking God for what He has blessed us with, the more contentment and joy we experience.  I really believe gratitude is one of those pivotal, often overlooked, things in the Christian faith.  I think it makes a huge part of the difference between a believer who looks and acts much like the world, and a believer whose life quietly captures the attention of the world around it, pointing them to the God who loves them so much.  Obviously, we have not mastered this.  But we are seeking it.  Valuing it.  Constantly trying to refocus on what's truly important, thanking God in all things, in good times and bad.  And we've definitely seen some really good times and some really bad ones these last few years! 

So this blog, though it won't always directly deal with 'how to be grateful in x situation", will be a place where I share the things we are learning, the things we value (like family, simplicity, intentionality, and stewardship), and the life we are so grateful for.  The life we are so blessed to have.  When it seems to be going well, and when it doesn't.

Traveling with Cloth Diapers

At the beginning of June, we packed up the car and headed on an eight-hour road trip to Florida.  Well, more like 10 hours with the little one.  For the first weekend, we were scheduled to shoot a friend's beach wedding, and for the following week, we were on our own for a relaxing vacation.  The laid-back wedding was so much fun to shoot, and the setting was amazing.  The rest of our time in Florida was also incredible.  We had so much fun.  Molly did so well with all the adjustments (long car ride, sleeping in strange places, spending a lot of time in the sun, etc.) and she had a blast!  This kid loves the water!

Originally when planning this trip, we anticipated using disposable diapers.  We felt no guilt about using a week's worth of disposable diapers, especially considering how few we've sent to the landfill these last 9 months.  But several weeks before our trip, I did a little research and we found we might be able to get a condo with a washer and dryer.  So we decided we would give cloth a try during our travels.  Not knowing how things would go, we tried to keep an open mind, remembering that there were plenty of stores near our condo where we could buy disposables if needed.  But it actually went really well!  Here's what we did to make it work:

The number one requirement for us using cloth diapers was having a washer and dryer in our condo.  (And not spending more on the condo rental price to get it.)  Our higher priority was getting a condo at a low price, but if we could also get one with a washer and dryer at that same price, then we would decide to use cloth on our trip.  Turns out, both condos we booked had a washer and dryer inside the unit (not just a laundry room on the property somewhere).  We didn't end up paying more for that, so it worked out really well.  Also, it turned out that we really needed to wash clothes on the trip, so we were especially glad we had a washer and dryer available.

Trip preparation:

• The day before we left, we washed, dried, and packed our cloth diapers, wipes, and pail liners.  We used disposables that day so we weren't creating dirty laundry that we'd have to bring with us in the car.
• We brought some cloth diaper detergent and regular laundry detergent in ziploc bags.  I labeled the bags as "cloth diaper" or "regular" and I also wrote how many scoops were needed for top-loading and front-loading washers because I wasn't sure what we'd have.  I measured out more deteregent than I expected us to use, just in case of emergency.  Then I put the scoops in the bags.
• For the long car rides, we planned to also use disposables just to make things a little easier.  So I put together a little caddy of diapers, cloth wipes, a water bottle for the wipes, disposable wipes, hand sanitizer, and diaper rash medicine.  (We used cloth wipes because Molly had a diaper rash/infection, and disposable wipes irritate rashes.  The disposable wipes were for wiping down my hands afterwards.  After a diaper change, cloth wipes went into our wet bag, and we washed them the next day in our condo.)  This caddy, along with the wet bag and changing pad, made changes much easier along the way, as well as when we were in the condos.

During the trip:

• We basically kept up the same routine that we use at home, minus some of the conveniences like a diaper pail and a diaper stacker.
• Our cloth diapers can be used as swim diapers!  Awesome!  We just removed the inserts from the Bumgenius 4.0 diapers, and put them on her otherwise like normal under her swimsuit.  Loved not having to buy swim diapers, and not having to throw anything away after swimming.

 

So all in all, we were pleasantly surprised.  Traveling with cloth diapers went really well!  As long as you have a washer and dryer in your hotel room, it's about the same as cloth diapering at home.  We definitely saved money not having to buy disposables and swim diapers!

Cloth diapers

Ever since Molly was about a month old, we have used cloth diapers.  I had decided before she was born that we would use them, and had a good stash built up by the time she (or really, I) was ready.  (In case you're wondering, I used disposable diapers until she was 4 weeks old, that way I wouldn't have to worry about the cloth diapers messing with her cord stump, and so I could get settled into being a mama first.  In hindsight, we could have started sooner-- the cloth diapers are not nearly as complicated as I thought.)  Several of my friends have asked me about how I like them, how they work, if they're totally disgusting, etc.  So I figured I could write a post about the system I use, and why I like it.  I am by no means an expert in this stuff, but I know cloth diapering can be a little intimidating, so maybe this will help someone.

Why do you do cloth?

Ok, so I don't remember anyone actually asking me this question, but I figured I'd answer it here anyway.  If you know me pretty well, you probably already know the answer...  Ben and I like to live as environmentally friendly as possible.  But also, cloth costs less than disposable diapers (especially if you use them for more than one child), and they expose the baby to fewer chemicals.  So when we decided to use cloth, I figured I would just grin and bear it, assuming it would be really gross and somewhat inconvenient, but worth it.  But it turns out that I actually really like using cloth!  For us this the best option, but I know it just won't work for some families.  (No one can do it all!)

Some bonus benefits of cloth:  

• Fewer to no blow-outs!  I just recently realized that since Molly has been in cloth, we have had only one blow-out (and that one time was because we gave her a lot of prunes!).  Little did I know, the diapers are designed to prevent it.  When she was in disposables for that first month, nearly every time she pooped (especially when we were out in public!), it would come out of her diaper, up her back, and onto her clothes (and sometimes onto her carseat!).
• Less smell!  Seems backwards, but in my experience, disposables stink more.  When she's wearing a disposable, I can smell urine as soon as she pees.  When she's wearing cloth, I never notice a pee-smell, and the poop smells are hardly noticeable, except when you put your face up to her diaper.
• Cuteness factor!  While it isn't really that important, it's fun to have diapers in cute colors and designs.

Don't you have to fold the diapers and use safety pins?

Diapers have changed a lot in recent years.  There are lots of different kinds out there, but the ones I use are very similar to a disposable diaper.  No pins, no special folding.  I have two different kinds:

• Bumgenius 4.0 diapers, which are one-size pocket diapers, meaning you stuff an absorbent layer of cloth into the diaper shell
• Bumgenius Freetimes, which are one-size all-in-ones, meaning the absorbent layer is attached so no stuffing required

Notice both are one-size, which means I buy one set of diapers and it adjusts to fit her from when she's a newborn until she potty trains.  Sure, these diapers are more expensive than some of the other cloth diaper options, but the one-size feature and the ease-of-use is worth it to me.  And I'm still saving money when compared to buying disposables.

Don't you think it's gross to stick poop in your washing machine?

If I were throwing huge clumps of poop into my washing machine, that would be pretty gross, but that's not how it works!  When a baby is exclusively breastfed, the poop is pretty liquidy and water soluble, so it washes out really easy.  You just take a dirty diaper, throw it in the pail, and wash a load of diapers later.  Once the baby starts eating baby food, the poop becomes more solid.  At that point you have to get the poop out of the diaper before washing.  So for us, after we put a clean diaper on Molly, we take the dirty diaper to the bathroom, and gently shake the poop into the toilet.  If it doesn't shake out, we'll use the diaper sprayer to gently spray the poop into the toilet.  Then we throw the diaper into the pail and wash it later.  Very little poop actually makes it into the washer.  The diapers come out of the wash with no smell, and if there are any stains (which is rare), a few hours in the sun takes them right out! And when you wash diapers (or clothes, or whatever) in a washing machine, the machine gets cleaned too.  No poop is left in there to get on your clothes next time you use the washer. 

Isn't it a lot of extra laundry?  And a lot of extra work?

Not really.  It is more work than disposables, except you don't have to leave the house to get clean diapers! But it's not bad.  We put our diapers in a pail (for us, a wicker laundry basket with a waterproof liner), and wash the diapers (along with the wipes and pail liner) every other night.  It's pretty easy-- we run the washer once on cold water with no detergent, then again with hot water with detergent, then an extra rinse.  Then we dry the inserts, wipes, and pail liner in the dryer, and hang the liners on a drying rack (The liners can be dried in the dryer, but drying on the line is supposed to help them last longer-- we hope to use the diapers for more than one child). Finally, stuffing the inserts back into the liners of the 4.0 diapers takes about 5-10 minutes tops.

Does Molly's room stink?

As far as I can tell, there's no smell.  When she was breastfed, the poop stayed in the diapers while they sat in the pail, so yes, it stunk. But there are things you can do to help keep the smell down, like using an odor spray.  Now that we shake the poop into the toilet, there's no smell in her room.

A few tips we've learned to make it easier:

• Have enough diapers - We now have 26 diapers.  When we started out with only about 20, we often ran out of clean diapers before the load of diapers would finish washing and drying.  With 26, we have more wiggle room.  As long as we wash them every other day, we don't run out and have to use disposables while a load of diapers is drying.  That's even enough to keep 2 clean ones in the diaper bag, rather than having to remember to grab some before walking out the door.
• Snap closures are best!  There are different opinions on that, but in our experience, hook-and-loop closures cause more trouble than they are worth, and they wear out fast.  Snaps last a long time!
• Buy two pail liners - An extra to use while washing the first one.
• Cloth wipes are easier to manage and prevent odors in Molly's room.  I'll be writing another post on that soon.

Summary of my diaper routine:

1. Remove diaper, wipe baby bum with wet cloth wipes.
2. If diaper is only wet, remove insert, and throw everything into the diaper pail.
3. Put new diaper on baby bum.
4. If diaper is dirty, shake poop into toilet (spray if necessary) and flush.  Put diaper and insert into pail.
5. Every other day, wash and dry diapers.
6. Stuff diapers (takes about 5-10 min.) and put them in the diaper stacker.

A few cloth diaper resources

Bumgenius
Cottonbabies (Where I buy my diapers, detergent, etc.  Always free shipping!)
Cloth diaper types
Diaper product reviews
Comparison of diaper detergents
Cloth diaper resources on SimpleMom.net
Planet Wise Diaper Pail Liner


So, in case you were curious about using cloth diapers, I hope that helps.  There's so much more info out there, though, so much more research could be done to find the best system for you.  I have used other brands of diapers (FuzziBunz, gDiapers, etc.), and tried a few other things, so if you want to hear more, let me know!  Again, I'm no expert, but I have had to learn a lot since we got started!  All in all, I would say cloth diapers are awesome, and not so gross after all.

A long overdue update about a long, overdue child

It has been 9 months since my last post on this blog! Oops! I guess you could say I've been a little distracted. So I will try to sum it all up... Wow! Here goes:

Our wonderful Molly Samantha was born on August 22! It turns out she did NOT come early like everyone, including my doctor and my doula, predicted, but decided to arrive 5 days past my due date (actually on my sister's birthday)! By the time she came, I was BIG! I didn't think I was at the time, but now when I look back, I can't believe it! And Molly was big, too! Molly weighed 9lb. 2 oz. and was 21" long. She was nearly the same size her daddy was when he was born. We're thinking she's going to be tall like him-- at each doctor's appointment, she's been in the 95th or higher percentile for height and it seems like she's always a size or two ahead in her clothes just because of her height. Anyway, she was and is beautiful, amazing, and such a blessing straight from God. I still look at her and can't believe how much God has blessed us!

I think going through the things that we have over these past few years has really helped us to appreciate and be so grateful for all the different aspects, fun and not-so-fun, of being parents. We are so thankful for every bit of cuddle time, kisses, coos, babbles, dirty diapers, crankiness, and even being vomited on, all because we feel being parents is such a gift. A gift that not everyone gets to experience. A gift that we (especially I) cried for, longed for, and begged God for, not knowing if He would ever answer with a "yes". And not only did He give us a child, which is an incredible answer to prayer and a miracle, but He gave us such a sweet, patient, happy, and friendly child. THE most amazing child, in my opinion. (Maybe I'm a little biased.)

That's not to say things haven't been difficult. The beginning was especially hard.  Recovering from childbirth did not go smoothly (again), I had a lot of problems with breastfeeding, naps have always been a struggle, and there have been various other bumps in the road, as I'm sure it goes with all new parents, or all parents in general. But it has been the best thing I have ever done!  I feel privileged to be a mama every day!

As I mentioned, I have been breastfeeding Molly, and a slightly unexpected side-effect of this has been forced down-time throughout the day.  Currently, it amounts to about 2-3 hours of time I am required to just sit on the couch every day.  For Christmas, Ben's parents got us a Kindle Fire, and it turned out to be a really useful tool for all that down-time!  While I'm feeding Molly I use it to get online, check facebook, check email.  But the most useful thing is that I use it to read.  Since Christmas, I have read 10 books, not to mention countless blog articles.  I've been learning a lot, and I hope to write about some of it here on this blog.  It's gotten a little expensive reading all those books, but it's a much better use of my time than spending 2-3 hours on facebook, or watching TV, or falling asleep while staring at the wall.

Ben has also thoroughly enjoyed being a parent, and life is pretty busy for him as a new daddy.  His work is going well, and he's been delving deeper into the worlds of weightlifting and photography.  The photography thing is something that actually involves both of us.  We both enjoy it, and I help him with photo shoots and post-processing.  He's got some weddings lined up this year, which should be a lot of fun!

As for what Molly's up to these days, she's trying all kinds of new foods. She's got 6 teeth, and she's acting like she's working on a 7th.  She's learning to stand and just barely starting to learn to cruise.  And she rolls EVERYWHERE!  She's gotten so good at it that she doesn't seem to care to try and crawl.  As a result of all this rolling, she's acquiring little bumps and bruises now and then as she learns where she can and cannot fit.  For example, she cannot fit under the couch, but she can get herself wedged in there trying.  Another example, she cannot keep rolling when she's only inches away from the coffee table.  Ouch!  Life's a little rougher for Molly these days.  ;)

Well, I think I'm going to have to stop there.  This blog post is already ridiculously long.  I hope to keep writing more regularly about things I'm learning along the way, rather than huge posts every 9 months!  Thanks for reading!